My Secret Story Told – I’m Gonna Book it!
Ahhhh…. well here it is folks…. one of the two reasons I revived Jennifer Stinnett .com! I’m writing a book that has me scared. I mean really scared. Scared at the can of worms it will open up for me and others. Scared of people finding out the truth about me since I liked to keep this part of my background hidden. Scared to learn / see my bad behavior through another person’s eyes while I thought I was being a good person. I’m scared at the reactions to my truth telling. I’m scared to even re-visit a lot of my hidden emotions and thoughts about this “secret”.
It’s completely vulnerable.
It’s completely open.
It’s completely embarrassing to certain points.
I do hold this “secret” as an embarrassing part of my life and I don’t like to tell people about it. However, those I’ve told tend to roll their eyes and laugh at me when I confess my background to them.
Actually – strike that … I get ALL kinds of reactions.
So here it is … tell me your reaction in the comments below when you read the next sentence.
I used to be a Jehovah’s Witness.
Yep, used to be until they kicked me out. (That’s the part my friends laugh at!). I got thrown out, kicked out, banned, blacklisted, escorted away from and/or removed from something. In their mind, ME, this little miss goody two shoes here, was banished from a whole religion. Can’t even make that part up … i actually had a whole religion say … “ummm… yeah…. we don’t want you here. B-bye now…” That happened in 2004. Seems like forever ago…
As a result of being kicked out, I now have 8.13 Million people who won’t talk to me. (and won’t read my blog/book either!) Actually they CAN’T talk to me. Why you ask? Because they’re a Jehovah’s Witness and I’ve been officially “disfellowshipped”. By being “disfellowshipped” they’ve been instructed by a man who stands on a stage and says “Jennifer Stinnett is Disfellowshipped” to not talk to me or associate with me. If they do associate with me or talk with me – they run the risk of being disfellowshipped themselves.
The funny thing is, that the getting kicked out and having 8.13 Million people not talk to me ISN’T THE EMBARRASSING PART. It’s the part that I was ever IN that religion. The things I did, the things I thought about non-Jehovah’s Witnesses at that time, the “fight” I put up to try and STAY in that organization. The whole thing is embarrassing to me. I wasn’t a “Christian” or the good person I thought I was being while I was a Jehovah’s Witness and following their rules. oh the stories …
And that’s what I’m “booking” people…. All the raw stories.
For now – there it is – out in the internet universe. I hope to be able to share bits and pieces of my book as I’m writing it here. Ideas and memories that come back. I also want to share positive things people are doing in the world – if only to counteract all the negative things I was told about people as a Jehovah’s Witness.
My intent is not bash a religion, my intent is to journey back (if only for the therapy of it) and realize without a shadow of a doubt, that there is a good life after coming out of some sort of “caged” situation. There is a life when people (like 8.13 Million people) tell you nothing good will come of you or … nothing good will happen to you once you leave any religion / cult / group/ person.
I am here to share my story and to SCREAM OUT that …
(even when 8.13 Million people have been told you aren’t a good person and they shouldn’t talk to you!)
Thank you for being here! xo